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picture this, if you will:
- Ms. Annie Creamcheese
- so many years ago...
- I was born in 1874 in Paris to a pair of sea turtles who were violently in love, though their passions were kept secret as they were locked in loveless marriages at the time-- my mother to a ruthless Duke, my father to a bar wench who favored gambling. However, their torrid affair turned sour after my mother, Marzipan, caught my father in bed with a golf club and thus ended both their lives. Shortly after their tragic demise I was adopted by a colony of glow worms and raised in Haiti until my coming of age; I then conquered Valhalla with the help of my trusty house cats, Annabelle and Rupert. I am now attending school to become lava lamp engineer with hopes to own a brothel someday.
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Please keep in mind that I don't give a flying fuck.