child games

I haven't spoken to you in years. I was in love with you all that time ago, so many things happened. We wouldn't even recognize each other if we saw each other on the streets. Fuck, I don't even recognize myself anymore.
Anyway, I'm sitting in this apartment at 2 AM, boyfriend asleep across the room, talking to an old flame on IM. All the lights are out except for my screen, headphones on, Hide and Seek came on random.
The only thing I could think of was that I haven't had a really good hug in years-- you were the last person who hugged me really well. In fact, I've just realized that you're one of two people that have ever hugged me and made me feel like someone actually wanted me on this planet, and it's nights like this when I feel like the entire world doesn't give a damn if I'm on this planet or not that I could use a hug like that.
It's just a damn crying shame that I haven't had a real, real hug from another human being for six years. Every now and then I find myself hugging my arms around my chest in some vain attempt to pretend like it's someone else that cares, but I could really use a hug from you right now. I wonder where in the world you are, what you're up to. If you think about my hugs ever.

I hope you're okay this night.