i can't cover up what we did with a dress

I want you in the darkness,
the endless black within and without,
I want to search and find and search again.
I want to listen for you,
taste for you,
sniff you out like the dog I am,
pins and needles at the edges
of all that clarity we keep throwing around
like it's Halloween candy.
I don't want to see you,
I want you blind to me
arching and waiting,
writhing, escaping,
grabbing at all I can
and maybe a little more.
I don't want to hide my breathing,
the ugly little things in my pretty little head,
the hissing gestures that even I myself can't grasp,
the knowledge in my blood that pushes me
towards a suffocation buried deep in your skin.
I don't want your permission,
I didn't come to you for a caress
and I certainly didn't cum for your words;
I want you to hurt me
because I'm pretty when I cry;
I want you to squeeze
because breathing doesn't matter here;
I want you in the dark
because I need to release this bloodlust
and I want to release it
on
you.