i long for orange curtains

Well, that's over and done with.
I don't even know what to do with myself now that it's over.
It's funny that, even thought I'd been preparing myself for this for years, it's still thrown me so far out of my groove that I'm having a seriously hard time adjusting.
I guess I never realized how much time I spent on the phone with him.
I also can't believe that my grandfather's funeral was pretty much hijacked.
For all this time I was expecting my family to, you know, be themselves. I was expecting my Aunt Juliet to make some crazy scene, or for my grandmother to have a mental breakdown, or even for my partner to dump me moments before the service. I was not, however, expecting some insane pastor from my family's church cult to dive into a 45 minute sermon on how the bible tells us to deal with grief.
A bit condescending, don't you agree? Especially to we pagan psychology majors in the crowd.
I still have the nail marks in my leg from it-- how inconvenient.
Anyway, it was rainy in the funeral tradition; there was a bagpiper who was so old he could barely hit the notes; the soldier peeps had to re-fold the flag twice because they couldn't get it right and I ended up being sat in front of a certain family member, which turned out to be gruesomely ironic.
I felt dirty after the whole thing was over.
I don't even know why I bother "preparing" myself for anything anymore, it seems like Fate has a knack for throwing a curve ball at me no matter what the situation is.
Who cares though, I mean really.
Now for the sleep that brings nightmares.