i don't know how to say this... i want your hands in my mouth

^an old inside joke with Jude about a billboard we saw for a place called "Painless Dentistry". Still makes me lol.

Jude is out of town until Saturday night; he and his best friends are seeing The Gaslight Anthem... lucky bastards. I feel torn about calling them one of my favorite bands-- their album The 59 Sound is flawless, and I don't say that lightly, but the rest of their work is... well, their first album is unbearable and their latest is barely tolerable. That having been said, I wish I could have gone to the concert but that was Jude's night, I can't justify tagging along when he's trying to have friend time.
Trying to sleep last night without his arms wrapped around me was...
excruciating.
Usually I relish these little breaks we get from each other (not that I hate his company or anything but living with anyone requires a little space sometimes, though living with Jude is a dream). It's time spent listening to whatever music I please however loud I like, trying out different outfits in the living room to see what looks nifty with what, and watching whatever movies I want that Jude usually doesn't appreciate (mostly British comedy). I'm sure I'll make the best of this, but I really want him home with me.
It's the little things I miss. The way he'll drop everything and snuggle down with me for twenty minutes of uninterrupted cuddles, the voice he uses to talks to our cats, the look on his face whenever my shirt comes off. We do abuse each other terribly: we love calling each other names and getting into fake arguments that will sometimes turn very loud. Once I was locking the door behind me on my way to work when my next door neighbor came out to ask if I was alright-- apparently he'd heard us screaming "BRING ME A BEER, TWATFACE" and "YOU FUCKING CUMDUMPSTER, WHERE'S MY BURRITO?" at each other and missed the bits where we were falling apart laughing at each other in between. Trying to explain that was the very definition of awkward. Lately we've taken to throwing hateful glares at each other before muttering "You don't know anything". I miss that the most right now.
That boy really is the fucking love of my life.